My husband and I always dreamt of having a baby girl as our first child since our courtship days. When I got pregnant we talked about the child as “she”. We never wanted to think that it might be a boy. Discussed her future, her relationship with us and how will we be parenting her. I was the first one among my friends to get married and have a child so didn’t know the ABC of pregnancy or being a mother. Sometimes when elderly ladies met me they looked at my baby bump and said “I am sure it will be a boy” which used to bring a frown on my face. Once one of the family members met and asked about what I think would be the gender of the baby and without even thinking I spoke out “I think it will be a girl” and before I could give a big smile to complete my sentence she interrupted, “Oh Somya!! Just stay positive and it will be a boy”, with a smirk. Statement like these made me want a girl even more.
Time came close and we started shortlisting names for the baby. We even finalized a name for a girl and couldn’t shortlist good names for a boy so we left it there.
There I was in the labor room pushing out at every call of the doctor. My baby was pulled out and taken in the adjacent room for cleaning. Almost exhausted I was looking at faces around me hoping someone would at least tell me if it is a boy or a girl. After completion of stitches one of the nurse came and said “It’s a Boy!!”. I wasn’t prepared for this answer, didn’t know how to react. I was supposed to be happy as I just delivered a child and was a “MOM” now. Instead I closed my eyes and pretended to be resting. Hundreds of thoughts rushed through my mind in a fraction of a second- “Will I be able to love him as I would have loved a daughter?” “I hope I’ll be a good mother” and what not.
After around half an hour of letting me rest my mom-in-law brought the baby boy to me. I never expected this out of me but I started crying out of joy looking at such a beautiful part of me. My eyes were searching for my husband, I hugged him and cried a lot saying “Congratulations to us, thank you for this angel”.
That moment it wasn’t a “girl” or a “boy”, it was “our baby” for whom we waited for 9 months. I felt so childish for having those stupid thoughts in my mind earlier. It was like I suddenly felt mature.
I still get wishes for having a BOY and trust me I still have that frown for it. Not for wanting a girl and having a boy but for the mentality that is running in our country even in the educated society. People need to realize that India is no more same, everyone is equal be it a girl or a boy. I pray for such mentality to find a grave soon.
We never finalized a name for our baby boy earlier but deciding it spontaneously we came up with a better name than the ones we looked at earlier- HRIDAYANSH (Piece of our Hearts).Please feel free to share your experiences too 🙂